It’s an accepted fact that horror movies are among the worst-rated by critics, which is why it’s hard to figure out, objectively, what’s good and what’s not. You’re lucky you have us, because we took the time to put together a list of ten horror movies of late that are worth watching while you’re stuck at home wearing the same PJ’s four days in a row. Check out our picks below.
One prevailing truth is relevant to the majority of our privileged asses in self-isolation, and that’s this: it could be so much worse. Such is the case for Crawl’s lead, Kaya Scodelario. Scodelario, of Skins fame, plays a Florida girl innocently checking in on her father when she gets stuck in the middle of a hurricane surrounded by escaped alligators. The critics’ consensus on Crawl was that it rose above the curse of disaster horror movies otherwise fated to be shredded to bits to become one of the greatest indie releases of 2019. It’ll also give you a crippling phobia of alligators (see also: crocodiles).
2. Ready or Not
Horror fans who have been sleeping on Ready or Not have been wasting time, because it’s made the cut of almost every list with significance since its drop last year. Starring ex-Home and Away actress Samara Weaving who made her metaphorical horror movie bones with Netflix’s The Babysitter, you may as well watch this out of loyalty to the Aussie’s success anyway. Weaving spends her wedding night not consummating her new marriage but hiding from the in-laws trying to kill her before dawn. While watching Weaving evade her cruel fate and navigate the complicated dynamics of her new family (we don’t know which is worse), you’ll crack a smile with intense focus as the nail-biter progresses.
Starring horror royalty Maika Monroe of It Follows and Bill Skarsgård of It, since Villains’ release it has been criminally underrated. What better time to watch a movie about a Bonnie and Clyde couple stuck in a home than when you’re also stuck in your home? Monroe and Skarsgård play robbers shit out of luck, trapped in the home of true maniacs accidentally as they make a pit stop on their transition to being on the run. What ensues is both hilarious and horrifying, making it more than deserving of your time.
4. Escape Room
There is no time that you will relate to Escape Room more than right now, while you’re suffocating indoors and can’t stand the sound of silence. Absolutely panned by critics but enjoyed by viewers the world over, Escape Room follows a group of unlikely companions working together – and sometimes against each other – to solve the puzzles that stand between them and the door, soon learning that there’s nothing fake about the obstacles that they face. While it won’t help your claustrophobia, this one is not a bad way to pass a few hours. Plus, there’s a sequel on the way, so you can look forward to that even though right now it feels like the world is ending.
5. Happy Death Day 2U
Blumhouse’s Happy Death Day 2U did about half as well in the box office as its predecessor Happy Death Day, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth a viewing. Jessica Rothe’s performance has earned her considerable praise as she plays Tree Gelbman, a sassy college student who is done with the time loop bullshit that has taken over her life. Similarly to its prequel, Happy Death Day 2U once again sees Rothe living the same day over and over with a killer on the loose, but this time in another dimension. We’re still not bored of the premise, but you’ll need to savour every moment anyway as it’s unlikely we’ll see another addition to the series.
6. Hell Fest
If you didn’t know that it was a horror movie, the first portion of Hell Fest could be interpreted as a very cute love story about two couples attending a theme park. Unfortunately, it all goes downhill from there, as the double daters are stalked by a killer in a genuinely suspenseful game of cat and mouse. For those of you who get your kicks from haunted houses at amusement parks, this one is right up your alley, as our leads navigate not being able to tell the difference between what scares are fake and what scares are real.
7. Blood Fest
While Hell Fest and Blood Fest have similar titles and contexts, they’re both uniquely enjoyable in and of themselves. Blood Fest is less serious, though more than one enemy confronts a group of survivors well-versed in the rules of horror movies harking back to the premise of satires like 1996’s Scream. As the movie’s trailer claims, there are three ways a horror movie ends: 1. A single hero survives 2. No one survives 3. Blood Fest will show you.
For fans of the genre, having watched Midsommar is a rite of passage. Directed by Ari Aster of Hereditary glory, it tracks a group of friends who travel to Sweden for a festival but end up participating in the rituals of a pagan cult. With travel bans coming thick and fast, the Florence Pugh-helmed film will make you never want to step outside your house again, and thus serves as a worthwhile therapy technique to quench your cabin fever from coronavirus isolation. It’ll also help if your boyfriend is a piece of shit.
9. Zombieland: Double Tap
These last two are more mainstream, but in no way does that dilute the strength of our recommendation. As we know, an epidemic like that of coronavirus is usually the start of what causes a zombie outbreak, which is what makes Zombieland: Double Tap such an appropriate watch. As Woody Harrelson, Jesse Eisenberg, Abigail Breslin and Emma Stone navigate what life is like as a makeshift family in the apocalypse, you’ll get a peek inside the end-of-the-world White House, how Elvis fans cope with the rapture and Jesse Eisenberg still not realising that he’s punching with Emma Stone.
10. It: Chapter Two
It: Chapter Two was not meant for cinemas. The film, which is way too long for a finish in one sitting, would be much better enjoyed at home during your COVID-19 quarantine, where you can pause it, have a nap, and then renew your focus. That way, you’ll be able to enjoy every individual reference, including Stephen King’s cameo, and the hilarity of Bill Hader scaring the rest of The Losers Club by pretending to be Pennywise. Extra points if you recognise director/actor extraordinaire Xavier Dolan in the movie’s opening scene.