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People Are Making Facebook Events For Fake Concerts, And It’s Fucking Brilliant

LB-main

Last month, the greatest live music troll in history was pulled off in the small town of Dayton, Ohio USA. On 4/20, no less, hundreds of Limp Bizkit fans rocked up to a petrol station expecting a spur-of-the-moment performance (yes, a petrol station), only to learn that some dickhead legend had set the entire thing up as a prank.

Hundreds. There were hordes of fans that legitimately believed Limp Bizkit was going to play a petrol station on Stoner Day.

The situation is absolutely magical – not only because there were literally hundreds of people that fell for it, but it’s also spurred one of the most pointless (but also hilarious) memes we’ve seen in a fair while. Now, dozens of Facebook events are popping up for such monumental events as “GWAR at CiCi’s Pizza” and “Hoobastank at the dump”.

Because it’s Monday arvo and we can’t be fucked doing anything legitimately professional, us here at BLUNT HQ have trawled the inner depths of Facebook to bring you the five best* gigs you probably won’t mind missing out on…


SMASH MOUTH Live! At Planned Parenthood

Screen shot 2016-05-09 at 5.07.47 PM

The vital details
Smash Mouth performing all their hits, including “Walkin’ On The Sun”#partytime
**SPECIAL GUESTS JUST ANNOUNCED**
– Len
– Master P & Silkk the Shocker feat. C-Murda (live via satellite from The Louisiana State Penitentiary)
– Chris Gaines
– Eagle Eye Cherry
VIP ONLY meet & greet held in the Casa La Chapala parking lot.

Pledge your attendance: http://bit.ly/1SXXRBc


Biz Markie performs LIVE at McDonald’s Playplace

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The vital details
McDonald’s has what u need and so does Biz
Come thru it’ll be lit
BRING YOUR OWN SAUCES THIS IS MCNUGGET ANARCHY

Pledge your attendance: http://bit.ly/1NnVg3t


Rage Against The Machine LIVE at Travis County Jail

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The vital details
In a super special LIVE performance, RATM will be playing their eponymous album, track by track, for a live audience!
This is a limited engagement, and will be filling up quickly! You are advised to practice civil disobedience by protesting, drinking alcohol and smoking cannabis. Police will not interfere!
RSVP soon and share with all your friends!

Pledge your attendance: http://bit.ly/1WUHzdT


Dane Cook and Staind with special guests Seether and Trapt LIVE at the Fireworks Tent in the Kmart Parking Lot in Wilmington, North Carolina

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The vital details
Show starts at 2:30 sharp in front of the Fireworks Tent in the Kmart parking lot between the Burger King and Chilis on College Rd.
RECEIVE FIVE FREE TICKETS IF YOU SPEND $50 AT KMART OR THE FIREWORKS TENT
Roman candles and Bud Lite 1/2 off with valid college or military ID

Pledge your attendance: http://bit.ly/1WinfE4


Taco Bell Presents Criss Angel MINDFREAK feat Papa Roach & Drowning Pool & Sasha Grey (solo set) & HIM hosted by Katt Williams & Guy Fieri

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The vital details
Free
All ages
Experience the real life miracles by icon Criss Angel in the flesh!
FREE QUESALUPAS TO THE FIRST TWO HUNDRED GUESTS!
Opening acts Papa Roach and Drowning Pool guaranteed to keep the bodies hitting the floor and cutting lives into pieces before the magic happens!
A&E will be filming a special so be sure to sign their waiver so your face doesn’t get blurred out!

Pledge your attendance: http://bit.ly/1rvK1Ml


Metallica with Sum 41 at Sonic Drive In off Oltorf

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The vital details
Watch Metallica open up for Sum 41 in an epic performance at the Sonic Drive In off Oltorf and 35!
Let the tunes soothe your ears while Lars delivers you bourbon brown sugar creamery shakes and magenta smoothies.
VIP and Platinum wristbands are still available. However, camping packages are sold out. VIP includes skates and one chocolate frosty.

Pledge your attendance: http://bit.ly/23Dspd6

  • Trigger

    Hey guys. Help me raise money so I can get to this show! Hope to see you all there! https://www.gofundme.com/259bagc

  • Deej Zarbizarre
  • cm5813

    Don’t miss Nicki Minaj at the Atlanta Landfill. With a special autograph signing at Captain D’s – https://www.facebook.com/events/944651495653838/

  • Kathy

    It’s absolutely brilliant. Here in Chicago: https://www.facebook.com/events/269826056696837/

  • Kanye Twitty

    Crash Test Dummies LIVE at Applebee’s (Enid, OK) + MC Skat Kat & the alligator from Happy Gilmore! https://www.facebook.com/events/2011941869031449/
    GOTTA read the event details. HILARIOUS!

  • Dayton Sucks

    Dayton is the asshole of the taint that is Ohio. For example, people in Dayton will go to a fake Limp Bizkit show at a gas station knowing that the band is not actually going to be there. Smart people don’t leave Ohio, they escape.

  • acompo
  • Jessica Warner

    Dayton is a city. Not a town.

    And none of us who came to the event actually believed Limp Bizkit was going to show. We genuinely showed up for the complete follow through of a joke.

    the people of dayton are just masters at trolling, and are fuckin funny as shit.

    • ExpertWitness

      Le master trole town of Dayton.

    • DB

      If “none of us” were fooled, and everyone was there “genuinely” for the joke, I guess you’re not really “masters of trolling”.. Masters of a weird way to have a gathering at a gas station, maybe, or “masters of trolling ourselves although it was just a joke so we weren’t really trolled”..

  • appleforaface

    Yup, some people are that fucking stupid.

  • Hard Little Machine

    Just the possibility of 500 black people rioting makes it worthwhile.

  • Disqustd

    “small town of Dayton, Ohio” – yeah it’s an obscure village, you probably never heard of it.

    • Matt Doria

      Yeah no, writing this as an Australian, I genuinely had not until I needed to research the Bizkit story. Your city must be largely irrelevant outside of itself, sorry bro 🙂

    • LawGeek

      It has less than 150, 000 people, why would you know it? It’s not like we know every little town in Australia with 150,000 people. I’ve been to parties bigger than that.

    • Disqustd

      It’s not my city, and you’re Australian so you obviously aren’t aware of much.

  • Nate Mendenhall

    Dude, there were like 2 actual Limp fans who hoped they would show up in Dayton and 50 people who showed up because they knew they could make the news and because they like a nice party. Don’t make it sound like we’re idiots here in Ohio. We’re hilarious people who know how to have a bit of fun not gullible rubes.

    • blder

      You don’t speak for all of us, Nate. Ohio is full of idiots.

    • Disqustd

      Every place is full of idiots.

    • blder

      Especially Idiotville, Ohio.

    • I lived in Dayton for a year, in that year I saw more one car accidents than I have in my entire life outside of Dayton Ohio.

    • Jessica Warner

      Anecdotal life experience, the statistical data doesn’t come close to supporting your experience though.

    • Josht

      Lol why would fifty people go to a fake Limp Bizkit show at a gas station for “a nice party(?)”. Do people throw “nice” parties at gas stations in Ohio?

  • Torie Rivera
  • Stephen Hebert

    Does this mean that Kid Rock will not be performing at the Wal-Mart Tire & Lube??!!!

    • Jana Ferguson

      No, that’s still on.

    • Stephen Hebert

      Thank Donald. I was so upset I coulda beat my girlfriend. Or sister. Whatever you want to call her.

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