Five Films You Should Have Seen In 2015 And Five Films You Should Be Glad You Missed
As the year finally comes to a close, we can probably all agree that 2015 was a massive one for the box office. Star Wars: The Force Awakens obliterated just about every opening weekend record in existence; Mad Max: Fury Road put Australia on Hollywood’s radar again; and where would we be without biannual superhero flicks (The Avengers: Age Of Ultron, Ant-Man), painfully drawn-out book adaptations (The Hunger Games: Mockingjay – Part 2) and a reboot of a mega-popular franchise (Jurassic World)?
The biggies are easy to peg, but we wanted to shine some light on the year’s lesser-known gems. BLUNT’s resident film guru Lachlan Marks notched up some serious screen time to bring you five underrated movies you needed to see this year. Because balance is key to a lot of things in life, he’s also rounded up five of the year’s worst. How many have you seen?
FIVE WORTHWHILE FLICKS YOU MIGHT HAVE MISSED…
Hands down, the best movie of 2015. Coupla little kids steal a cop car from a very dodgy policeman played by an increasingly sweaty Kevin Bacon and mayhem ensues. It’s a very tight little thriller, heavy on the suspense and not afraid of spilling a little blood on the camera lens. Director Jon Watts just got the nod to make the new Spiderman film – after showing up to his meeting with a fresh Spidey chest tatt – so there’s hope for that now too.
Mad Max on a BMX bike with a heavy early Nintendo vibe and gallons of fake blood. If you enjoy post-apocalyptic rampages deeply rooted in practical effects work and can already quote all three lines of dialogue from Fury Road, this one’s primed to hit your small screen. Oddly enough, the most nostalgic film of 2015 wasn’t a reboot, remake, comic book adaptation or straight-up toy cash in.
Kurt Russell is mounting a serious comeback right now and will no doubt be shooting at least one person in the face in Tarantino’s new flick The Hateful Eight this holidays. If you want to get reacquainted with Captain Kurt and his new epic moustache before that lands, the best way to do so is by pointing your eyeballs at Bone Tomahawk. We’re not here to ruin plots for people – how long is it until we have a spoiler-related Force Awakens murder case? – so we’ll just say it’s a horror/Western and it’s a damn fine one at that.
Soon Oscar Isaac will be everyone’s favourite actor after doing some dazzling pilot work in Star Wars: The Force Awakens and going full villain as the title character in X-Men: Apocalypse. Get in early and tell everyone he was your favourite actor way back in 2015 when he starred in the year’s best sci-fi thriller about an unsuspecting geek who wins the chance to camp out with his hero, a reclusive tech expert with a penchant for artificial intelligence.
KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE
Colin Firth will fuck you up, but he’ll do it in a very polite and gentlemanly way. 2015’s best comic book adaptation is Kingsman: The Secret Service, the hyper-violent James Bond spoof that also features Samuel L Jackson as a megalomaniac with an unfortunate lisp. This one gets extra points for tricking a lot of upper class Brits into thinking they were seeing a classy spy film then backhanding them with the most deaths-per-minute we’ve seen on camera in a good while and some very risqué jokes.
FIVE SHOCKERS FROM THE HOLLYWOOD TURD PILE…
Everyone loves Guillermo Del Toro and he’s been chipping away on this ghost story passionate project for years. Sadly, as pretty as it looks if you watch the first five minutes and can’t tell us exactly what is going to happen for the rest of the movie, you will need to go back to primary school. Way too predictable.
If you had 200 million dollars and a few months with George Clooney we sincerely hope you would deliver something better than this colourful pile of vomit (or at least have one hell of a bender). Based on the Disneyland ride of the same name, this was director Brad Bird’s (The Incredibles, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol) first big miss, a CGI-clogged sickly-sweet film about nothing, for nobody.
Continuing to prove the hypothesis that The Matrix was some kind of fluke, the Wachowski siblings’ latest head-scratcher features Channing Tatum as some kind of dogman with hover-rollerblades. No, that isn’t as great as it sounds. This is why Hollywood is terrified of funding original sci-fi films. Anyways, enjoy the next 17 Transformers movies, thanks guys.
THE LAST WITCH HUNTER
Vin Diesel walks into a room and says to a bunch of rich people, “Hey, what if we made a movie about my Dungeons & Dragons character?” Someone asks, “What exactly is it about?” He replies, “Shut up. He has a sword that goes on fire” and everyone nods that it’s certainly a great idea. We’re pretty sure that’s what happened anyways as there is nothing else to this trainwreck of a movie, whatsoever.
THE SEVENTH SON
The Big Lebowski’s best two actors, Julianne Moore and Jeff Bridges, were reunited this year in the worst possible way. Based on some fantasy novel you’ve never heard of, The Seventh Son was able to out rank The Hobbit: Whatever It Was Called as the most boring fantasy film of all time. Jeff’s not-so-hot streak continues after yawn-worthy performances in recent clunkers The Giver and RIPD. We can’t abide this.